One-Shot: If I Can't Have You
by WizMonCruWil
Summary: OK, so Rise of Skywalker was a bit of a letdown for me. I waited two years... for that? I will be getting in on the "Fix-It" action in due order, with some upcoming pieces also being TROS compliant. Anyway, here is one taken right after Ben passes away. Enjoy!


**One-Shot: If I Can't Have You**

Ben Solo cradled Rey Palpatine gently in his arms. He had crawled out of the pit, hand over hand after the Emperor had tossed him down it. But when he got out, he was horrified to find Rey's lifeless body on the plain of Exogol. Willing the Force to come to his aid and obey him, Ben placed a hand over Rey's stomach. The power flowed through him as he desperately worked to heal her, to bring her back - just as Rey had done with such mercy on the Death Star ruins, after she stabbed him with his own lightsaber.

For a moment, nothing happened. All was still quiet. Rey's eyes were unseeing, unmoving, even as Ben's hand gently pressed against her stomach. And then -

Rey's hand moved to cover his.

Feeling her touch, Ben glanced down at her, hardly daring to believe it. Slowly, Rey's body moved, rising up as she slowly sat up and Ben continued to hold her. Her eyes opened, widened, as she stared at him for a moment in confusion, as if she couldn't believe he was really there. And then, she relaxed, and the most beaming, most beautiful smile of pure love graced her face as she spoke his true name aloud.

"Ben..."

Ben simply drank in her beautiful face, even as Rey's soft hand reached up to caress, cup his cheek. Even play a little with his dirty black locks. But at last, even he could not contain his joy, and his lips curled into a slight, relieved smile.

As the couple gazed into each other's eyes, Rey's face suddenly softened. She seemed to hesitate for the briefest instant, almost as if she was feeling a little shy. But then, she made her decision with firm resolve as she leaned in and fiercely pushed her lips against his in a long, passionate, loving kiss. Her eyes closed in blissful contentment.

Ben's arms wrapped around her as he responded to the kiss almost immediately. Upon returning her kiss, kissing her back, the kiss seemed to deepen as Rey and Ben's relief and happiness at being alive and together consumed them. Through it all, Rey continued to tenderly cradle her lover's face.

At last, after what seemed like several, sunlight days, they broke apart. Ben's palm was still buried in Rey's hair buns. Rey's beaming smile dipped a bit, but didn't dim. She appeared almost flustered, eyes searching, silently asking Ben if what she did was OK.

And at that moment, Ben Solo did something he hadn't done in years. He laughed - a real, genuine laugh. A laugh that caused his dimples to curl up adorably and his pearly white teeth to glisten widely.

And for that one moment, everything was perfect... And then that moment ended.

Ben's smile faded. Rey's own radiant one crumbled into a frown of confusion and concern, as she watched the man she loved keel over backwards, dead.

She was still holding his hand.

Horrified, refusing to believe and yet knowing deep in her bones what had happened, further understanding dawned in Rey's eyes. _He traded his life for mine... _She glanced around desperately, for something, someone, anyone, anything to help. Her throat clogged up to tamp down an anguished scream, even as her heart took up the cry in agony. A cry in the dark that nobody could hear.

That was when she saw it. Anakin's lightsaber lying several yards away.

She had to lie almost on her side and stretch to reach it, not even wanting to crawl the few feet, and briefly putting distance between herself and her precious Ben, to get it. Even if the distance between them already seemed insurmountable. Grabbing the hilt, she sat back up and examined it. It appeared so similar in craftsmanship to the lightsaber that had belonged to Ben's mother...

Ironically, it was the flash of awareness of Leia's death that took her over the edge. Clutching Ben's body close and weeping bitterly, Rey cradled him. "NOOOOOOO!" she finally let out the anguished cry. Setting her lover gingerly down, she took the Legacy lightsaber and brought it up against her abdomen. She pushed the top of the hilt against her skin, almost hard enough for it to pinch.

Then, before she lost her nerve... she flipped the switch.

The unbearable pain of being pierced clean through was so sharp and jarring, so fast, she almost didn't feel it. It took a moment for the agony of a fatal blow to overtake her. The saber switched off and Rey swayed dangerously. Her vision was becoming hazy. Keeping Ben in her sights, she crawled onto him, into his arms, using the last of her strength to make his limp muscles embrace her. One final burst of energy coursed through her, so she could reach up and tenderly kiss the corner of his mouth.

"I love you, Ben. See you soon." Then everything went soothingly black.

* * *

Hours later, Poe Dameron and Finn burst onto the plain of Exogol.

It had been the damnedest thing. Careening through space in the _Falcon_, Finn had briefly felt Rey die, the Force ripping a pain in his chest. Then, suddenly, he felt her essence come back again, only for it to disappear once more. It had to be a sick joke, the Force see-sawing. The damn energy field was probably acting up rather than handle the pressure of an all-out war.

"Rey! REY! Where are you?!"

Then, Poe saw two figures lying sprawled and prone in the distance. "Finn!"

Finn rushed to the pilot's side. Both men stopped, mouths agape. There lay the dead bodies of Rey and Kylo Ren, wrapped in a close embrace. Finn shook with a potent mix of grief and rage. "Abomination! Get away! Get away from her!" He started forward to separate the pair, drag Kylo away from Rey, but Poe stopped him.

"No." His brow creased, his brain whirring a mile a minute to compensate for and stave off the consuming grief he too was feeling. The Force tickled at his mind, coming to life and awakening his senses, just as it had from time to time under that Force tree when he was a little boy. Piece that together with Rey's presence in the Force vanishing, reappearing and then vanishing again, and...

"He brought her back to life, but... somehow died to do it. And then... Rey killed herself out of grief."

Finn appeared dumbstruck, but Poe just glanced to him with sad poignancy. "Search your feelings, buddy. You know it to be true."

There was a pronounced sniffle as Finn wiped his nose noisily on his sleeve. "Wha... What do we do now?"

Poe glanced down at the lovers with sympathy. "We bury them together."

* * *

Takodana was the most logical place to bury the couple. Finn adamantly opposed taking Rey's body back to Jakku, and he figured she would appreciate laying eternally at rest in a place so green. Plus, it was where she and Kylo Ren had first met.

Had they begun to fall in love, amidst these very trees? Finn wasn't sure and a lingering bitterness told him that he never wanted to find out.

The boys erected a slab of granite over the burial site, Rey and Ben lying in the same grave wrapped in each other's arms.

Before Poe and Finn started covering them with earth, Poe took out Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. Activating it, he slowly and methodically began to carve words into the stone edifice. Every few moments, he would pause, wanting to get the inscription just right as he worked through what it should be.

Over his shoulder, Finn started to read it: "HERE LIES BEN SOLO... who's Ben Solo?" Poe just looked at him pointedly, eyebrow raised. Finn glanced away. A long silence and then: "Poe?"

"I'm thinking of how to finish it." And indeed, that was the question: how to finish it? How to write Rey's name? Rey Palpatine - and risk grave vandalizers trashing the resting place out of resentment towards her family name? Rey of Jakku?

No. Touching the blade to the stone, Poe finished until the grave read: HERE LIE BEN AND REY SOLO, HUSBAND AND WIFE. Maybe it was the Force that nudged him, but Poe felt deep in his soul that this is what Rey would have wanted.

For once, Finn did not voice any lack of understanding. Finally, he seemed to have his eyes opened, and he actually nodded his approval. Switching off the Skywalker saber, Poe laid it gingerly in the grave as he and Finn set to work filling up the hole. That task done, Poe sighed heavily. "Goodbye, Rey." He nodded to Finn. "Get the ship ready."

The former Stormtrooper walked off, leaving the pilot alone. Glancing up to the heavens, Poe shook his head and intoned: "Never was there a story of more woe, than this of Rey, and her Ben Solo."


End file.
